Drama Queen

dragonfly tantrums

2009-12-09T14:51:00.000+05:30

rrrbtttt*

2009-10-10T00:35:00.005+05:30

I met this frog the other day, his name was Jim, the first thing I said to him was “hey!! Jim? like jim Morrison?!!” ok maybe not the first thing but one of the first things. To that he replied you never know i might be a reincarnation. So i turned to him and said so if i kiss you will u turn into my prince, he of course the frog that he is made a disgusted face, “no offence but you’re species scare me !“ he said.

Whoever wrote the story about the frog prince was extremely wrong.atleast if taken in the literal concept.

So like i was saying jim and me and a pretty interesting conversation. Which basically involved me talking alot and him occasionally sticking his tongue out and pretending to catch imaginary flies.im tellin you these frogs are liars.they claim to be the experts at catching flies,sadly theyre not. I watched jim miss a million times i finally got so fed up that i actually caught him a fly and handed it over to him.me..someone who’s hand – eye co-ordination is ZERO!

i watched in amusement as that blind frog ate the fly happily..and even let out a rrrrrbttt which sounded like a burp to me.after all this was a talkin frog named jim!

so i just sat there on the stone near the pond staring into the crystal clear water watchin the water ripple with the wind.i turned to jim and i ask him" u know sometimes i feel so confused"

he replied " yeah i kind of figured that out on my own"

"no i mean like about the decisions ive made."

"why do u want to dwell in past?" he asked

"im not dwelling ,what i thought i wanted and what i want now confuses me."

"okay so listen to me sweetheart,its the present that matters,everything thats surrounding you now. you have the power to control it. thats why its the present.grasp it.what are u surrounded by now ? what do u have? what can u do with it? its all on u dahlin' ,u create ur own problems,grief,pain,anxiety,it's all u!watch the world around u change once u know u can control it" said jim

wow! who knew, a frog named jim would make more sense to me than a human being...so i stared at jim,my mouth open he smiled at me atleast i assumed it was a smile.. and then went back to attempting to catch the flies.

i wonder if ill ever see jim again.we spoke for hours that day about everything.things id never ever talked about before..i have gone to the pond a few times calling out to jim but my attempts were all a failure.

thats a day in the wierd life of me.

coming soon dragonfly tantrums.~*~*

aaahhh nirvana!!

2009-10-06T21:17:00.002+05:30

yes i was supposed to be back but then stupid me...i forgot the email id..and it took me so long to realise what was really wrong...

it's been raining non - stop here...

and im enjoying sitting in my room all covered up staring out the window thinking about the craziest of things...

ur happy here arent you?

it isnt very different from home,but thats a good thing right?

because even too much change isnt good right?

but then again what if it is...

i do feel a sense of independance, like im out in the world on my own...but honestly id feel the freedom even more if i wasnt tied down by these stupid rules..

oh well thats what u get for stayin in a hostel run by nuns...

yeah its clean and hygenic...but a curfew timings on weekdays at 8 and on saturdays at 9?

i mean seriously...i didnt even have curfew timings at home...

and it doesnt helo that i have a crazy sexually deprived ocd roomate who spends all her time reading mills and boon and then denying to me that shes sexually deprived...

lol its actually pretty funny if u actually think about it...

its even funnier and slightly disturbing when she makes noises in her sleep...

like shes dreamin of having an orgasm...

never been kissed 18 year old who's pretty sure she knows everything about relationships and guys...even though shes never even been in one...

enough of that...

i do love my room though...

right now i cant wait to finish my exams...ugh exams....ah...there's something very therapeutic abt bloggin...

its like the antidote to bein mindfucked...

anyways to all my fellow blogger friends...

add me on twitter...m@rleymeat..

twitters the shit...especially when ur watching soulja boi live and theres nothing but the damn computer screen between u and him....

toodles for now..got 67 slides in comp theory to read..

and this headache really isnt make anything easier...

guess who's back?

2009-08-12T10:23:00.002+05:30

the worst thing about having multiple email accounts is the damn password problem...the amount of passwords i had to think up to figure out the right one...

im in comp theory class now and i think the idea of bringing laptops to class is awesome...

i wouldnt be blogging now would i...:P

swine flu has struck bbay badly..its so wierd seein random ppl in masks..hopefully its declared a gov. holiday and i get to go home!! :D

the things that have been happening, the amount of sutff i have to tell u..

how missed you my bloggy blog!!

but guess what im bacck :)

<3

2009-05-26T17:47:00.001+05:30

"Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes
Yeah the spotlight shines upon you
And how could anybody deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Now I met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes
Youre the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you
Must be out of their mind

Because I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Since I met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes
Green eyes
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand"

*sigh* green eyes i miss you....

butter

2009-03-28T10:41:00.002+05:30

IM BACKKKKK and slurring as ever..its the remiscence of wats left of last night...
a friend told me butter helps...
lets hope because i think in sometime this hangover is goin to kick in...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-03-04T14:57:00.001+05:30

I AM NOT YOUR PLAYTHING
I HAVE FEELINGS TOOO
AND I HAVE BOARDS NOW
STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD
BYE.

ouch!

2009-03-01T01:47:00.002+05:30

v: well.

how's french coming along?

me: okayy

just did one mock paper

and gots ae paper cut

v: those're nasty.

Sent at 1:08 AM on Sunday

v: really nasty.

i knew a guy who got one on his eye.

Sent at 1:10 AM on Sunday

me: ooouccch

htf did he do that?

v: hahhaa.;

he was distributing some question sheet in college.

some guy threw one back at hime.

him*

caught him in the eye.

me: uuuugghhhh

and then?

v: he got operated on?

some blood vessel got cut and stuff.

minor cut, but it was in the eye, so had to be careful.

me: that story so does not deserve a smiley face

v: the smiley face just signifies that he's alright, and that other people should be careful, too.

me: lol

chapter 3 (part 1)

2009-02-24T13:08:00.002+05:30

Rahul was a nice guy. Honest,charming,cute..exactly what
anyone would look for in someone.
Then why couldn't he find anyone?yeah he was texting this chick
Aurie,but that didn't seem like it was going anywhere.He did like her
but it just didn't seem like it would work.Actually the truth was that
it was too hard not being able to see her everyday and hold her in his arms
when he wanted too,he couldn't do anything he wanted and had to rely on words
to charm her.ugh.old school so not his style.Now Rahul actually having
a non-sexual relationship was very rare.In fact it was close to impossible.
what?? he was a boy who had needs.He was a teenage boy which meant his needs were even more
prominent.this was killing him slowly and painfully how long could he possibly wait?
Today was different.Today he had a date.Tonight he was sure he'd satisfy those thronging needs.
He was single.She was hot.what more did he need?
Then why did he constantly have that nagging feeling,something constantly interrupting his flow,
why was he feeling guilty?
Aurie and him just talked.JUST TALKED.they weren't together.they'd never kissed.she wasn't his girlfriend.
He wasn't tied to her.He was single.So what the fuck was the problem?
Thinking about this girl was totally fucking up his flow.Not that he needed to be bang on tonight,the girl
didn't need any wooing she was already literally begging him to do her.
*******************************
"ha ha ha ha Rahul you're so funny!"
"It wasn't even a joke Radhika!"
He pulls out a cigarette lights it and takes a long drag."mmm..he thinks to himself.Thank god he had that cigarette this girl
was pissing the shit out of him.The whole world was pissing him off right now.
"whoops" Radhika trips a little and bumps into him.
"just a little tipsy" she says.
"You just had half a glass of wine!" Rahul pointed out.He hated it when the girl pretended to be drunk.
"Ready to be dropped home?" he asked as they walked down the street to the car.
she stopped in front of him and turned to face him.She slowly inched closer.their faces were inches apart now.slowly she
brushed her hand across his chest and slowly move her hand lower down ."Are you sure you want to drop me home right now?"
Rahul wanted to do it so badly."maybe not" he winked at her and grabbed her hand.And they walked back to his car.
"Looks like I'm still the bad guy"he thought to himself.
********************************

extra chunky

2009-02-23T18:54:00.002+05:30

i have a problem. a big one.i always start something and never finish it.NEVER.
My attention span is worse than a five year old.i have nevr finished the kajillion stories i have started writing.but i will finish this one i am determined..there's something abt this story that just makes me feel like droning on and on.and i will...so look out for more.BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO BE A LAZY WRITER!!
:D
ps: pure magic chocolate,cold just out of the fridge with extra chunky peanut butter is a kickass combination!

Chapter 2

2009-02-22T12:44:00.001+05:30

"TARAAAAAA!!!"
"Wat's up dude!"
"I'm allowed out now..wanna smoke a dube?"
"yeah man,come home now"
"okay see you in ten"
"bye dude"
*******************
"Oh my god T you wont believe it!" said Aurora
"Believe what dude?" asked tara
"Siddharth made out with kira!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??!!!"
"yeah man.!"
"fuck."
"i know"
Jim Morrison voice blares out of the speakers as they share a similar disgusted thought.
"Do you need me to crush?"
Tara motions to Aurie with her hand "chill!"
She opens the drawer picks up a purple lighter and the joint and ever so gracefully lights it.
A familiar smell fills the room.Aurie begins to make herself comfortable.The song has changed.Kanye west
beats fill the room now.T passes the joint to aurie now.She admires it."perfect" she thinks to herself and takes a
long drag.She can feel the smoke enter her mouth and trickle down her throat.She slowly tastes it,and slowly
ever so slowly she opens her mouth and exhales.A cloud of smoke floats up in the air.
"mmm" she lies back in the pillow.
"Now this is some good shit!"
"ha ha you got that right"
*************************
"boom this AURIE!!"
" yeah yeah,booming!"
"wanna go to the beach?"
"yeah why not!"
Aurie sat quietly bobbing her head to the music.watching T shift gears and zoom through the traffic.wow!
was that girl a wonder with vehicles.
T stopped at signal.Aurie raised her window and checked to see if anyone she knew were in the neighboring cars.she
sparked it a small thick cloud of smoke escaping her lips.She had let it burn as usual all because she was either
lost in mindless conversation or in her thoughts.T took a long drag and let out a huge puff of thick smoke.
"this is pretty good shit" she says
Aurie turns to her and smiles,picks up the i-pod and starts shuffling through songs.
**************************
They kick up heaps of dirty sand as they make their way
through the crowded dirty beach.Plastic papers,newspapers,peels,bottles all cover the
vast expanse of sand surrounding us.They made their way to the balloon shooting
area,their favorite thing to do.Aurie was not quite the best shooter but Tara was
brilliant and Aurie was prepared for an ass-whooping.
*************************
"hey naveen,STOP IT!!"
"Aurie hands up,im GOING to shoot!"
" NAVEEEN I'LL KILL YOU I SWEAR"
"ha ha ha! i'm the one holding the gun in case u haven't noticed"
"Don't piss off naveen!"
"ay naveen chill out dude!"
"T you chill out man"
"why are u so pissing off huh?"
"Ready,aim??...ready?"
"Naveen i swear if even one bullet hits me you're going to be a dead fucking man!"
"Ok i'm aiming.."
"naveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn!!!!!! *eeeeeeeeeee*!"
"Fire!"
"aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ,OUCH!!"
"ha ha ha ha,what ouch!"
"hey fucker u shot me!! YOU ACTUALLY SHOT ME!!"
"HA HA HA HA"
"It's not funny it hurts!!"
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
"shut the fuck up naveen,u just spoilt my trip!"
"aurie there were no bullets in the gun man!"
"BALLS TO YOU,I FELT THAT SHIT!"
"You did??"
"GUN'S are NOT TOYS!,that gun is meant to shoot balloons not human targets!!"
"ha ha ha Aurie u drama queen!!I did not shoot you"
"did too i felt it!"
"the gun wasn't even loaded!"
"it wasn't? , but i felt something hit my thigh"
" ha ha ha aurie drama queen"
"shut up nik I am NOT!"
********************************
Aurie smiled to herself.what a funny day that was.
"hey T you remember that day we shot balloons and ME with naveen,nik,varun?"
"HAHA HA HA HA aurie YOU'RE such a DRAMA QUEEN!!"
"ugh...i swear it hit me!"
and they burst out laughing.
"ok ready?" screamed T.
"READY!"
"SHOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!"
*Patt,patt,patt,plonk,patt,boom,boom,boom!*
they shot at the balloons for a long time.
"ooo look a kite!"
"wanna fly a kite?"
"YEAH!"
"lets go buy it!"
*********************************

THE JOHN DOE STORY CHAPTER -1

2009-02-21T20:13:00.000+05:30

"hello?"
"dude do u have nidhi maam's number?"
followed by an uncomfortable silence.
"no1"
"do u know how i could get it?"
"No"
"ok,so wats up?"
"nothing"
"are you pissed off or something?"
she rolls her eyes,takes a deep breath and.
"listen,who the fuck do you think you are huh?you think i havent figured out that u call me only
when you want something? well im sorry to tell you but arjun i am NOT going to be your P.A anymore!
because thats not my job..where do you get off calling me your best friend??where do you get off inviting
me for your party and ignoring me? the only reason i came was because you asked me too"
"im really sorry,i was DRUNK"
"WOW! and to think u actually called me immature..being drunk cannot always be your excuse.it's not even
a valid excuse.you cant do whatever u want and then think everything's gonna be okay and you're going to be
forgiven just because you were drunk..honey we all get drunk..so u know what FUCK YOU and ur alcohol.please
dont call me again"
"Aurie I'm sorry,really i am..i didnt know what i was doing"
" You hurt me Arjun,you really did..you were all over that girl! She broke ur heart,dont you remember?
or were u too drunk then too? because i remember clearly.i remember watching u break bottles,watching you cry
watching ur heart break! why was i watching?because i was the one wiping ur goddamn tears.do you remember
that? do u remember the times i was there for you?do you?"
"i made a mistake.i didnt know what i was doing,im serious!"
"you hurt me,you hurt me so much that i cant even stand listening to you anymore,this is all me.
i'll call you when i'm ready.if you really do care you'll give me time"
And with that she hung up and exhaled.
Good girl Aurora.
*******************
new text message recieved from:
Rahul
read now?
Auriee,baby!! wakey wakey!! I know you passed out!
wake up i miss you!!! :*

delivered 3:20 AM
*******************
Eyes half shut she reads the text and smiles..mmmm...rahul...
*Sending*
hiii...i miss you too :*
message sent 3:28 AM
******************

=)

2009-02-21T19:17:00.002+05:30

the most incredible feeling in the world...
being rewarded for wat u deserve....
it was worth it...
everything was..
the perfect way to end it..

2009 is turning out great
except for the fact that i should studying!

GREEN!

2009-02-11T12:30:00.003+05:30

we were sitting on the stadium steps watching the crowd file out...
the four of us..each in our own world.
my best friend and i and his best friend and him.
jabbering ,and jabbering away...
i had my head on his arm while we talked about lots of things.
that's the first time he said "sweety?"
we sat there till we were told to "get the fuck out" by the cops..
slowly we exited the stadium..knowing that very soon we'd have to say our goodbye's
so we decided to "chill" marley style ;) in the campus for sometime...
i was already out way past curfew
surprisingly it didnt bother me
we walked to the special spot alone...all of us...there were a lot of us now..
we hung out in the circle having mindless conversations the kind that are only possible when ur "chilling"
then it was time to go...so they both decided to walk us to my car.
so i walked with him,mouse i call him
and my best friend with mr.engineerin
the whole time another girlfriend of ours clinging on my arm..
it was then that i saw the most beautiful green fountain ever..
it was gorgeous and lit up in bright green and blue..
made it a point to scream it out so everyone noticed..
it was then that he pulled out this stem with three leaves on it
bright green leaves...
and he handed it to me saying " i know u LOVE green...so here this is for you..i know it's not great and all..but it could pass off for a flower"
i said "its the thought that counts..and i love this unique green flower...
it was then that he looked me in the eyes and gave that knee weakening smile...
*sigh*
MR.mouse i really really miss u =)

<3

2009-02-08T19:13:00.000+05:30

JULIET:
O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circle orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
ROMEO:
What shall I swear by?
JULIET:
Do not swear at all;
Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee.
ROMEO:
If my heart's dear love--
JULIET:
Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract tonight.
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say it lightens. Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flow'r when next we meet.
Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast!
ROMEO:
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
JULIET:
What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?
ROMEO:
The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
JULIET:
I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
and yet I would it were to give again.
ROMEO:
Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?
JULIET:
But to be frank and give it thee again.
And yet I wish but for the thing I have.
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.
I hear some noise within. Dear love, adieu!

At Last

2009-02-02T23:49:00.001+05:30

At last
my love has come along
my lonely days over
and life is like a song

Ooh, yeah, yeah
At last
the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
the night I looked at you

I found a dream
that I could speak to
A dream that I
can call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Ohh, yeah, yeah

You smile
you smile
Ooh and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
-Etta James

I CANNOT CONCENTRATE!

2009-01-30T16:24:00.003+05:30

now thats a good girl ....pick up that GODDAMN text book and study...it's easy u pick it up and read...simple isnt it?
SO WHY THE FUCK cant u do it?
REDBULL IS BULL!
It's supposed to vitalize my body and mind or so it says...but ive never felt sleepier in my life...
actually i have ,at guide camp.when we stayed up the whole night in a self - made tent scared of the animals (pigs and wild dogs) that were running around...3 days of staying awake and two days of not going to the bathroom...arrghhh u dont want be in that posistion...
BUT it was worth it because now i have an award from the governor of here.-the prestigious RASHTRA PURASKAR award =)
yay!
I <3 MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!
oops that reminds me.....
anyways...
i think its been a long time since put a song up...one that relates to my life...
wait for it!!
=)
ps:new blog comming soon

CUPCAKESmmm

2009-01-29T23:11:00.002+05:30

it's been a long time since ive been so genuinely happy..
and it feels great...so great that i dont want to rant on abt john doe today...maybe another day?
boards in a month...man is that scary....somehow i just cant bring myself to concentrate...but i will.
TONIGHT i will study...
ahhhhh....why am i happy?
cause i met a boy....
a nice,sweet,mature,funny,cute guy.
and i was so comfortable around him...i woke up smiling...he didnt move to fast either...
*sigh*
just my luck...he's from another city....far far away...12 hours away to be precise..
two months to goa YAY!
now thatll be one trip to remember...just us friends...chlllin....
appparently my face is clearing up...yeah we'll see how long that lasts. i predict i get two the moment i start PMSing...
i should be studying now but instead all i can think about is cupcakes...nice delcious creamy cupcakes...*slurp*
YES I AM RANDOM AND I LOVE IT!!!=)

broken

2009-01-23T22:26:00.002+05:30

ur slowly taking a part of me and it scares me because theres only so little of me left and i need that little bit to stay sane if u throw this right back in my face...
i try so hard to impress u
i do so manyn thigns..but u just dont notice
wat wrong with u are u gay??

John Doe - part 1

2009-01-20T00:45:00.000+05:30

when i met you it was like a future junkie meeting his drug for the first time...
i couldnt get enough of you..
i wanted to be around u all the time..
and then i was..
you Mr.John Doe
the one person who i truly believed would make all my troubles dissappear
you Mr.John Doe who i fell in love with(apparently),
you,whom i trusted,
you,my best friend my other half
i became a junkie,my addiction you!
its funny how now all i want is to forget you
forget everythng about you
forget u exist..
ive been sober for a while but ur trying to pull me back in
as always
chatting with me?
at first i could resist but now i cant
because i care, a part of me will always care no matter what
and u know that
and you take adavantage of it..
like u always do..
take advantage of me and i let you
i let u because im s tupid young naive innocent girl
because i believed i truly loved u
that we would end up together
that u couldnt bare to see me hurt..
u HURT me
hurt me so bad that i still havent bounced back from it
u hit me so hard u killed me inside
u ripped a part of my heart out just because u were so selfish
u brought my worst fears to life
u made me the second guessing ,un-confident,selfish FIGHTER i am today
and the only thing that i have to thank you for is for making me strong...yup christina's fighter says it all.
because of u i'm smarter
i dont trust anyone
and i only care about me
because of u i cant let anyone else in
because of u i cant think about being intimate with a guy without seeing flashes of that night of you and me in my head....
arrrgghh i need to sleep...
more abt john doe tomorrow

the 10 ten things that are so right in my life right now!

2009-01-19T21:00:00.000+05:30

1.my boards are in two months
2.ive got a s.o.p to write and i just cant sell myself...someone else? yeah..but me..? what's so great abt me?
3.i've never been in love..nope not even puppy love...
4.i dont know what its like to be loved
5.ive got wonderful pimples on my face..and im reminded everyday about how ugly it makes me look thanks to my mother
6.im having inappropriate thoughts abt my best friend's ex-boyfriend
7.im definitley going to fail my boards
8.the guy i'm supposed to like thinks im a whore..which im not seeing as how its hard to be a whore when ur still a virgin.
9.my friends are whores..u are the company u keep
10.i love those whores
ever heard of sarcasm??
then ten not so right things in my life
i really really really really really hope i get out of this city away from my parents and my past..cause i HATE it all...
I HATE THIS LIFE...IM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS I KNOW I AM
even though not so many people think so.. I KNOW I AM!!

:)

2009-01-18T16:58:00.000+05:30

finally a brand new keyboard...
poor poor bob....
not having a working keyboard is like losing a leg...
at least that's probably the amount of pain bob felt...
but anyways hes back now...
better than ever with a few upgrades...:)
ah..how i missed blogging..
i had to stick to copy pasting songs because typing with the online keyboard seriously takes a long time...
i just watched slumdog millionaire...
i did read the first three chapters of the book..before it had to be returned...hmphhf...(buying it now)..
the movie isn't like the book...so don't expect it to be if u have read it...
i think movies like these are paving the way for Indian cinema...
enlarging the horizon...
giving this industry limitless possibilities..
i truly believe that movies are going to bring us together
united...
there are no barriers anymore..nothing stopping anyone of any cast creed or religion from trying their luck...
the once separated industries hollywood,bollywood,kollywood etc..
aren't separate industries anymore..
it's all integrated...
ahh im probably mindlessly typing out every random stray thought in my head...it probably doesnt even make sense....
BUT I LOVE BOBS NEW ARM!!!:)
my bestestestestestestestest friends in the whole wide world left today...
i love those boys...and if military boarding school wasnt helping them i would totally have done something to prevent them from going back..
but theyre doing good and im proud of them..
im proud of him because he finally finally realised he deserves way better...
he ended things with her..
im proud of him..he was just hurting himself in the process..
TWO more months and then we're done....
our family ,back together...after so long...
and one AMAZING TRIP to GOA!
man is sumer gonna be a ball
yeah yeah i know i gotta study first and i am
i will do well
i know i can
this is my last chance
so ill be back soon..with details of my new blog that is devoted only to the story im going to tell
toodles
:)

Oh shit (oh shit) (x3)

2009-01-15T13:55:00.000+05:30

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we going down like...

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we going down like...
That Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.
Now I'm wishing that I didn't wear these shoes.
It's like everytime I get up on the dude,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.
All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancing like a ho,
'Cause you know
I don't give a Fuck, so here we go!
of all the songs...my life relates to this one??

paper heart

2008-11-26T12:21:00.000+05:30

"Please just dont play with me
my paper heart will bleed
this wait for destiny wont do
be with me please i beseech you"-all american rejects
WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO CALL?
ARE YOU PLANNING TO CALL?
ATLEAST HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TELL ME UR NOT INTERESTED ANYMORE
you tell me i drive u crazy,u make me wait on you..and then i dont hear from you for a month..
i cant hang on!!i've got a life too you know
why? why?
why'd i even bother with you?
with any of you..
TO ALL THE BOYS
when ur wooing me
u do it after u know me
dont get pissed off once u realise that im hard to get
i am
if i was easy then it wouldnt be wooing now would it?
I HATE EVERYBODY!

LOW

2008-11-13T16:48:00.000+05:30

"Everybody's talking
but they dont say a thing
they look at me with sad eyes
but i dont want their sympathy
it's cool you didnt want me
sometimes u cant go back
but why'd u have to go and make a mess like that
i just have to say
before i let you go
have u ever been loved?
have you ever had a friend that let u down so
when the truth came out
were u the last to know
were u left out in the cold
cause what u did was low
no i dont need ur number
there's nothing left to say
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be saved
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so…
So..."
- kelly clarkson
everything becomes so much easier to handle when there's a song that understands the situation.

SO WHAT??

2008-11-10T17:55:00.000+05:30

"so what i am a rockstar
i got my rock moves
and i dont need you
and guess what?
i'm having more fun
and now that we're done
i'm gonna show you
that tonight
it's all right
i got the clue so
so what i am a rockstar
i got my rock moves
and i dont want you tonight!!"-alicia "pink" moore

there are so many things running through my head right now
all because of today
a BAD day
i just had a great conversation with a friend
about random crap...and i laughed..too much..
makes me feel better

on to more mind stimulating matter..
ever wondered how those lone slippers found it's way onto the middle of the road?
well i found out..
a man was running to catch the bus..
the bus was zooming..
he grabbed onto the door and pulled himself in
but his slipper slipped off his leg
and ended up on the road
then i started thinking
catching that bus was so important to that boy that he was willing to risk his life to catch
luckily all he lost was a slipper
did he regret losing it?
can he afford a new one?
would his parents kill him?
would he have to survive barefoot till he earned enough money to buy one?
i wonder
i could relate this to my life
i could throw away everything and slip into that dark whole again
or
i could work so hard get into that university
and forget about everything that fucked with my head
and find myself again
I HAVE TO CHASE THAT BUS
because im pretty sure it has no plans of waiting for me..
i have to pull myself onto that bus
and not worry about losing something in the process
because what i gain will be way more than the small things i lost.
thus proving that blogging is way more effective then any pseudo psych
because figuring out the answers on ur own makes it easier to listen too..
:)

virgin comments

2008-11-05T10:14:00.000+05:30

So yesterday i watched fashion...boy did that movie shock me and everyone else at the theatre..what a daring movie.i dont think anyone would believe it was created for the bollywood audience..models doing heroin and coke,smoking a joint? this movie i believe is goin to change the face of bollywood cinema..hollywood?? lookout!!!
the movie was meant for me...
it made me realise that i am already throwing my life away and the funny part is im not even old enough.
i realised that i need to hold my head up high
get my confidence back and know that just because some pathetic people say im ugly or that im not good enough does not make that true..
im not a slut..i dont sleep around yes im very much still a virgin..
and because i didnt have a choice but because call me old fashioned but i dont believe in the "it's just sex" line..because ut isnt..its u..ur showing someone the intimate side of u something that no one else has seen except the person ur with..i dont mind bein a virgin however long it takes because i wnt to make sure that when i lose it..it's when i believe i'm in love
because i dont just want to have sex i want to make love
it's not even in indian culture to randomly sleep around and crave for sex..
they say im living in the movies..
honey ur the one immitating the west
u gotta remember we arent broght up like that
so enough about that

that boy is in the hospital
that boy im crazy about
that boy..*sigh*
he'll get better..
i had a dream that we kissed and it felt soo reaal
hopefully he rads my note and calls me or asks me to visit
because thatll make my life
too many bad things have been happening it's like im on a roll..
but ive held my head up high in front of them so far
and im going to continue doing so because i stilll believe that by lettin someone see me cry i showing them the weakst side of me and people as selfish as they are will use against me
IT amazes me though how people try so hard to make me cry..
to watch me break
but i dont let them and they see that as a sign of insensitivity..
but im far from that
that's why this boy will be good for me...
he'll help me get my life back on track
he'll help get my lost confidence back
and he'll be the only person who knows me
the real me!
xxxx rockstar get well soonxxxx
:)

when leeches attack

2008-11-02T16:47:00.000+05:30

When you start feeling sorry for yourself your entire world begins to crumble..hurt,hate,destruction,violence,lies,deceit all find its way into Ur life..sucking on u like a leech...taking everything away from you...this leech sucks and sucks living on the way Ur heart break feeding on your tears..it picks on you cause Ur defenseless..because theirs nothing u want to do..and nothing u want to say..because u think its a waste of time.
The leech strikes when u expect it less..and strikes only when u try to get rid of it once and for all..because the leech cant handle independence.It tries and tries to hurt u..lying about everything.acting like well a bloodsucking leech..and then you wonder..because the leech is trying too hard..trying to use jealousy which doesnt work and agravates it more.so it tries lies...nope still nothing..the leech's anger rages and it resorts to violence and finally the coward leech feels like hes gotten somewhere..because only cowards attack the defensless..leaving me wondering...did i really hurt him that much??did everything really have such an impact on him??
If i hadnt seen the person u've become i may have actually felt sorry...but i just feel disgusted...the person u pretend to be and the person u are..both equally pathetic...ur friends are embarassed to call u their friend..but what can they do..u try to get what u want by violence..
let me just tell u one thing...ill be living the life...flying first class,poppin champagne..and ull be stuck in ur godforsaken tiny country regrettin everything still the same pathetic loser that u are..and then ull see my picture on the tv or in the nwspaper,on a magazine and that's when itll hit u...whatever u tried NEVER WORKED...and then u spend ur days an alcoholic crying urself to sleep..because thats all that ull have left..BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND ALWAYS COMES AROUND!